DarkMagicianmon and the Darkside Knight
by Phoenix of the Darkness
Summary: Inspired by Sonic and the Black Knight, not a parody. When DM gets dropped into a medieval fairy tale, he has to rescue Princess Hikari Ino, defeat the traitorous knight Drake Ebon Darkstar, and find a way home. Rated T for Violence and mild language.
1. Medievel Deja Vu Stinks

_Disclaimer: All self-inserts belong to their respective authors. I don't own Brian and Melody, they belong to DarkMagicianmon, but he allowed me to borrow them. I don't know who owns Drake, but it's most likely DM._

A company of twenty knights traveled on horseback, across the land. Leading them was one of the youngest but best knights in the kingdom. "Company, halt!" Sir Roscoso shouted. There was a chorus of "Whoa" and "Hold it" from the knights as they brought their horses to a stand-still. Sir Roscoso looked into the sky, where the clouds had parted so suddenly.

A shimmering portal appeared in the sky, and from it, came a man in purple armor, with blue hair, screaming at the top of his lungs. When he landed, a puff of dirt was kicked up.

DarkMagicianmon stood up in the field where he had landed. "Ow. Where the hell am I?" About three seconds later, he found a spear pointing at his chest. He looked up at who was pointing the spear at him. It was a normal knight, but next to him was a familiar face "Ross? What's with the armor?"

"Silence!" the Pokemorph commanded. "I am Sir Roscoso to the likes of you. Men, arrest this mage!"

DM sighed. "Don't know what's going on here," he said. "But I'm sure we can work something out." Five knights jumped off their horses, and produced their various weapons, from swords to kunai to staffs. "If that's the way you want to do it." He whipped out his staff, and disarmed a knight with it, before going with his true forte.

"Dark Magic Attack!" A burst of dark magic came from his staff, and blasted a knight in the chest. "Fire!" Flames swirled around him, spooking the horses. He spun his staff around. "Magical Wind!" A great gust of wind knocked the rest of the knights off their feet. All except "Sir" Roscoso.

"Thou art a strong warrior," Ross said. "Where doth thou hail from?"

_Couldn't hurt to have a little fun with him_, DM thought. "I come from a far-off kingdom, known as Los Angeles."

"I haven't heard of this place before now," Ross said. "But if you are visiting here, then know this. The law of the realm states that all visitors must compose themselves in a proper fashion. Not, by dropping from the heavens." From a satchel hanging from his belt, Ross pulled out a purple gemstone. DM immediately recognized it as one of the Life Auras. Even if the sight of it hadn't made him remember it, Ross's next action would have jogged his memory in a hurry. "Chaos Control!"

Faster than you could blink, Ross appeared behind DM. "Shadow Ball!" He put his hands together, and a dark orb formed. It shot out, and nailed DM in the back. The Halfa went skidding across the ground, but stayed standing. He spun around to face Ross again.

"Dark Magic Attack!" he roared. A blast of magic shot from his staff.

Ross drew on the power of his Life Aura. "Chaos Shield!" The shield easily deflected the blast. "Chaos Blast!" An explosion of Chaos energy shot at DM, who dove out of the way.

"You are outnumbered!" Ross said, still looking ready to send another attack at DM. "Even if you defeat me, you shan't defeat all of my men."

DM looked around. All of the knights looked ready to join in the fight, at the word of Roscoso. "Fine. I surrender."

---

After surrendering, DM was taken to a huge castle, and sent down to the dungeon. He had his arms curled around the bars as he talked to the warden, since there wasn't much else to do. Much like how the Captain of the Royal Knights was Ross, the Warden was shadowDJ. Unlike Ross, who had been wearing armor, DJ was in his normal clothes.

"So Deej, where am I? What's this kingdom called?"

"This is the great kingdom of Gaia!" DJ said as he pounded his hand against his heart, and dropped his scythe in the process. He picked it back up, and quickly recomposed himself. "Ruled by King Brian the Magnificent, and Queen Melody the Alluring."

"Let me guess, with their son, Prince Nigel?" DM guessed.

"Nay, there is no prince of this kingdom as of yet," DJ said. "But, there is Princess Hikari Ino, bless her soul."

_So Hime-chan is the princess, Brian's king, and Melody's queen_. "So how long can I plan to be staying here? Maybe three, four years?"

DJ laughed. "It all depends on the King's choice. He is just, and will not dare to imprison somebody for an extended period on something that has yet to be proven. In a short amount of time, he will call for a prisoner--the only one now is you--who will present what crime they have been accused of. He will decide if this is truly a crime, and deliver the sentence. However, most find that less than a quarter of the arrested stay any longer than two days, as a warning."

"That's the first piece of good news I've heard in the past few hours," DM said. He sighed.

At the top of the dungeon stairs, the huge metal door flew open. Somebody called down "Hey! The King asks for the prisoner!" The person came down the steps, and it was yet another author, this one Jean Kazuhiza. "DJ!"

DJ grabbed the keys from his belt, and put one into the lock on DM's cell. With a quick turn, he opened it up, and Jean grabbed DM by the shoulder. He led the mage up the stairs, and through the halls of the castle.

"So, what are you? Servant?"

"I am not as low as a servant, knave," Jean said. As DM mouthed the word knave in disbelief, the wrestler continued. "It is my job to ensure that the castle runs smoothly. I can perform many tasks required, including the fetching of prisoners." He stopped in front of a large door, still keeping a firm grip on DM's shoulder. "Here it is. When you enter, you are expected to bow, and speak only when spoken to by his majesty or her majesty."

He looked over to the guard at the door, who looked suspiciously like Kakashi Hatake. He was even holding one of the "Icha Icha" books. In fact, the only difference was that instead of the leaf village symbol, his headband had a crown on it.

"If you don't mind?" Jean said to Kakashi. He looked up.

"Whatever you say," Kakashi said. He closed his book, and pulled down a switch next to him. The doors came open, and Jean and DM went through. After they had cleared the doorway, the door slammed shut again.

At the very end of the audience chamber was two thrones. As they came closer, DM could see that this Brian was older than his Brian, at least forty years old, but he still had the same strong aura to him. Melody was just as old as Brian, but was as beautiful as always. At least, she would have been, if not for what she was wearing. An old-style dress, with a dozen different layers. Despite the fact that it was probably the fashion, it looked absolutely ridiculous on Melody.

"Your majesty, I have brought the prisoner, arrested by Sir Roscoso," Jean said, bowing. He elbowed DM in the ribs, who then bowed as well.

"Thank you, Lord Kazuhiza," King Brian said. "You are dismissed." Jean backed away. Brian turned his attention to DM, and a strange look of curiosity entered his eye. "What is your name, and state your crime."

"Name's DarkMagicianmon," he said, standing up. "DM for short. My 'crime' I think has something to do with falling out of the sky."

Queen Melody's laughter filled the hall. "I apologize," she said. "But, it is strange. Who was it that arrested you again?"

"Sir Roscoso," DM replied.

Brian grimaced. "Strange man. Magnificent fighter and leader, but to arrest a man for falling from the sky." He shook his head. "I must apologize for his behavior." He narrowed his eyes. "You know, some consider it rude to stare at another man's wife."

DM's eyes returned to Brian. "Sorry, but I thought that Queen Melody would be very beautiful if she maybe had a smaller dress." Brian raised an eyebrow. DM realized what he said. "Not that she isn't beautiful! I'm just saying, that dress, she looks kind of ridiculous--"

"SPIRIT SABER!!!" Brian roared. His spirit energy came from his palm, forming a sword. Quick as a whip, he was holding it to DM's throat. "I don't care how familiar you feel, insulting Melody is a one-way path to death by my saber," he said through gritted teeth.

DM didn't move an inch. More than once, he had seen the kind of damage that the spirit saber could do, especially when Brian got mad(1).

"Please, stop!" cried a voice from the back of the audience hall.

Brian looked up. "Who speaks up?"

"`Tis I," said the person, who was a young woman. Through his peripheral vision, he could see that she wasn't very old, with long white hair, a blue robe, and a necklace with a light blue gemstone. "Kitten Hatchigamagutchi."

Brian moved the spirit saber away from DM's neck, but did not allow it to vanish just yet. "Court Sorceress. Why do you speak up for this man?"

"Did he not defeat many of your knights with his magic?" Kitten asked. "And nearly defeat Sir Roscoso?"

"This is truth," King Brian said. "But again, why do you speak up for him?"

"This may sound strange," Kitten said. She took a deep breath. "But I get the feeling that he may be who you have been looking for. One who can complete the quest that has taken some of your finest knights."

Brian took a deep breath. "We know nothing beyond his name and his style of fighting. How can we be sure that he will be able to accomplish this task?"

"You can feel it too," Kitten said. "Don't deny it. There's something special about this, DarkMagicianmon."

"What is it? What quest?" DM asked, utterly lost.

"You are truly not from this land," Brian said. "Three fortnights ago(2), my daughter, Princess Hikari Ino, was kidnapped. I have sent all but my greatest knights to rescue her. Only one has returned. He was stricken with madness beyond that which my healers can help him. Sir TemhotaTech." Everybody was silent for a moment, and muffled insane laughter could be heard outside the walls. Brian shook his head. "That poor man."

"Who kidnapped your daughter?"

"A traitorous knight to the kingdom of Gaia," Brian said darkly. "Drake Ebon Darkstar."

_So Drake's behind this. __Can't say I'm surprised_, DM thought.

"But he still must prove that he can take on a warrior of that magnitude. There is a large difference between Sir Roscoso and Drake."

Kitten closed her eyes for a moment in thought. She opened them a moment later. "When are the Knights of Fictor set to return?"

"Right about now!" shouted a familiar voice to DM. The crazy Fictorian Ninja, Lunatic the 121st.

Both he and Kitten turned around, and she dragged him to the side so that the Knights of Fictor could bow to the king.

Each one was dressed little bit different from how they normally did. D-Dude wore a helm, a pauldron on each shoulder, and a breastplate. TL had his poncho on, which had a crown symbol on it like the one that was on Kakashi's headband. Lunatic, well, he was Lunatic. But he had a crown symbol on his shirt, over his heart.

"What's up, Boss King?" TL said goofily.

"I told you not to call me that!" Brian exclaimed. "You are still my knights."

Lunatic smiled at Kitten, who blushed.

D-Dude rolled his eyes at his younger brothers' actions. "So what's up?"

Brian looked to Kitten. "What about the Knights of Fictor were you about to mention?"

"Have DarkMagicianmon duel them," Kitten said confidently. "If he does well, then allow him to live, on the condition that he goes on the quest."

The King considered this proposition for a moment. "I suppose that this could work," Brian said. "Do you have any objections to it?" he asked the Knights. All three shook their heads no. "And you?" DM considered it. He might be able to fight his way out of the castle, but it was risky.

_If I can knock them out before they can use their Ultima Forms, I might stand a chance against them_, he thought. "Alright. I'll do it."

---

Outside the castle, in the training arena, DM stood on one side, his staff at the ready. At the other end was D-Dude, TL, and Lunatic, also ready to fight. Both sides were awaiting the signal from King Brian to begin. At his right was Queen Melody, at his left, Kitten. Watching the match was some of the guards and servants.

Brian held one hand in the air. He yelled "Go!" and activated a spirit gun at the same time. Both sides, ran at each other, yelling a battle cry.

* * *

**Author's Note**

(1) Okay, so I have absolutely no idea what kind of damage the Spirit Saber can do, but I imagine it can do some bad damage.  
(2) For those of you who don't know what a fortnight it, it's two weeks. So three fortnights=6 weeks or a month and a half.

This fic was inspired by Sonic and the Black Knight. I call it a halfway parody, but it's not truly a parody, since the plot is original. I chose DM as the leading hero because I couldn't see myself as the hero--no significant other--and when I was thinking about it, DM was the first one to pop into my head, and thus this was born. This is going to be pretty fast-paced. Nothing extended, only about ten chapters or so.

So, how'd I do on the first chapter? Comments, questions, concerns? I'm going to attempt to have every Author Fighter have at least a small part in this, plus other random cartoon characters like Kakashi. If it makes anybody feel better, I'm going to have a rather small part, when it's my own fic.


	2. DM vs the Knights of Fictor

_Disclaimer: All self-inserts belong to their respective owners, and Brian and Melody belong to DarkMagicianmon. I only own the plot, and my laptop._

**D-Dude jumped at DM, and whipped his tail around. DM ducked under it, and at the same time began casting a spell. A burst of energy came from his staff, and hit Dimensiondude in the stomach.**

Lunatic made a series of hand seals. "Fire Style: Phoenix Flower Jutsu!" Five small fireballs shot out at different angles. Only one hit DM, the others he avoided. But while he was distracted, TL held out his hand, and lightning shot out of it, shocking the Halfa.

While recovering, DM thought, _Okay, note to self: Never fight the Fictor Brothers Three-on-One ever again._ He got up, and began saying an incantation. He swung his staff, and an energy blast flew out and exploded in TL's face, sending the hedgehog flying through the air, and outside the ring, knocking him out of the match. "One down."

DM spun around to face D-Dude and Loony. The Dragonsaur closed his eyes. "Spirit Flame, open!" He started to glow orange.

_Spirit Flame, spirit flame, what the hell does that do again?_ DM tried to remember what it did, but trying to remember wasn't necessary. D-Dude opened his maw, and fire spilled out, condensing into a spear. He snatched it out of the air, and went at DM with it, trying to get through DM's armor.

Meanwhile, Lunatic made a few hand seals. "Fire Style: Great Fireball Jutsu!" He put his index finger and thumb near his mouth, drew in a big breath, and blew out, producing an amazing fireball headed straight at DM. With a fire spear coming at him from one side, and a fireball from the other, DM had two choices. One was to use a spell that consumed a lot of power, and the other was far simpler.

He leapt into the air, and flew above both Fictor Brothers. Lunatic looked irritated, while D-Dude looked somewhat intrigued. "Freeze!" A burst of ice came from DM's staff, and hit right at D-Dude's feet, holding him fast. He breathed fire, melting the ice quickly, but in the meantime DM landed, and hit the Dragonsaur in the head.

"Boom," DM said. Dimensiondude looked down, and DM's staff was pointed at his chest.

"Since I don't use swear words," D-Dude said. "Darn it." The same kind of explosion that knocked out TL sent him flying.

"Two down, one to go," DM said aloud.

Loony held his arms out, and his chakrams appeared. He threw one that missed DM just barely, and got an uppercut in before catching the chakram he had thrown. DM created a gust of wind that blew Loony back a bit, brought his staff up over his head, and slammed it down with as much force as he could muster. A shockwave came from the point of impact, knocking Lunatic off his feet.

As DM approached him to blow the Fictorian Ninja out of the ring, Loony burst into a shower of flames. _Fire clone!_ DM realized. Then: _And what does he always do when he distracts somebody with a fire clone?_

From behind him, Lunatic yelled "EAT THIS!!!" He brought his chakram through the air intending to slice through DM's helmet. But to his great surprise, DM whirled around, and blasted him out of the ring, and out of consciousness.

Kitten gasped, and ran to Loony. She knelt down and put a hand on his shoulder. "Lunatic! Lunatic! Are you okay? Say something!" The Sorceress gave him a kiss on his forehead.

Loony's eyes came open. He jumped up, barely avoiding hitting Kitten. "Alright! Alright! C'mon, c'mon, let's go, round two!" He put a hand on his chest. "Ow." Kitten checked it for him.

"I think you broke a rib," she said.

"Sorry 'bout that," DM said sheepishly. "Didn't mean to put that much power into it."

King Brian looked very intrigued. "You defeated three of my finest knights. Not only that, but it was as though you knew their techniques already. Take that Fire Clone Jutsu, for example. You knew, before even he shouted, that Lunatic was going to be behind you."

Since he couldn't exactly tell the truth, DM bent it. "I've fought a lot, and it seemed obvious what he was going to attempt."

The King narrowed his eyes in suspicion, but let it alone. "Very well. You defeated them, and I will keep to my word. If you take the quest, then I shall allow you to go free."

"I accept," DM said, putting his right hand over his heart.

"I shall send for a guide for you, who can take you to the duchy in the west, nearest to the Black Mountains. A messenger shall be sent ahead of you immediately." He clapped his hands, and from the crowd of servants and guards that had chosen to watch, the Angelic Soldier came. He bowed before King Brian. "Go to Duke Jose, and inform him of all that has happened, and that when DarkMagicianmon has arrived, that I wish for him to supply a guide that can take him as close as possible to Drake's castle."

"Yes, sir!" Soldier said. With a salute, he extended his wings, and shot into the sky. In mere moments, he was no more than a dot.

"Now, if you will excuse me momentarily," Brian said. He went with Melody back to the castle, in order to find that guide of his.

DM heard a cough behind him. He turned around, and the Knights of Fictor were in line.

"Myself and my brothers," D-Dude said, "are honored to have fought a warrior of your stature. In other words, it was great to spar with you."

"You're awesome, dude!" TL said, giving him two thumbs up.

"Thanks for not breaking more of my ribs," Lunatic said, leaning on Kitten, his momentary burst of energy having abandoned him.

"Hold on," DM said. He raised his staff slightly, said a spell, and the brothers' energy was restored. "You're welcome."

---

Waiting at the front gate of the castle was Nukid, who looked . . . pretty much the same as he always did. DM approached him. "You're my guide?"

Nukid looked over, and appeared to be in disbelief. "Thou must be-eth joking," he said. "But lo, mine eyes shan't deceive me, thou truly be the hero, sent on this quest to rescue the fair maiden, Princess Hikari."

"Is it necessary for you to talk like that?" DM asked.

"Nah, but it's good for a laugh," Nukid said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Let us be off, into the forest." He looked past DM. "Sir Roscoso? What's he doing here?"

Roscoso stopped running, and caught his breath. "I apologize. But, if I may?"

"Whatever," Nukid said, stepping around the corner.

"I wish to apologize," he said. The Pokemorph reached into his pocket, and pulled out the violet life aura. "Please, take this, as a gift of good faith." DM gingerly picked up the gemstone.

"Thank you, Sir Roscoso," DM said stiffly.

"Call me Ross," he said.

"Thanks Ross."

Ross turned around, but turned back before he took a step. "I don't know what it is, but I feel as though we have met before. You feel so familiar, but I can't put my finger on it." DM raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. "Ah, it's probably nothing."

When the knight was gone, DM looked at the Life Aura, and stuffed it away. Looked like the rule was one set of Life Auras per world, because the one from his world's Ross was gone.

He went down the path that Nukid had gone down, and found the ex-assassin leaning against the stone wall. He looked up. "Ready to go?" DM nodded. "Good! We're right on schedule!" He looked at his wrist, which lacked a watch. "I think."

---

Two hours later, they were going from the path in the plains, to the path in the forest. The trees were thick, and prevented most of the light from coming through.

"Watch out," Nukid said. "There's supposed to be a village out here, guarded by some of the best fighters in the kingdom. Man, I'd love to take on one of them, but I'm supposed to be taking you through here."

_Still likes to fight_, DM noted.

The bushes to their right rustled. Suddenly, a shuriken flew through the air and barely missed Nukid. It buried itself in a tree trunk. "Look out!" Nukid shouted, and went into action. He dove at where the shuriken had come from. "Shigan!" There was a slight _thunk_, but no moan from the pain of a Shigan to the arm.

DM carefully went through the foliage, and his eyes widened when he saw what had happened to Nukid.

"My finger's stuck in a tree," Nukid said bluntly(1). "I hit the tree with a Shigan , and now I'm stuck in it."

"I can see that," DM said. He grabbed the back of Nukid's shirt, and pulled. With a pop, Nukid's finger became unstuck. "You're welcome."

He turned around, and somebody dropped out of the trees a foot away from him. "Who're you?"

"I am Airnaruto, leader of the village in these parts," the ninja said. "And you are invading our territory!" He made a series of hand seals. "Wind Style: Air Bullet Jutsu!"

* * *

**Author's Note**

(1) That is so getting quoted in my profile. "My finger's stuck in a tree."

At the rate I'm going with this fic, it's going to be 1) My fastest fic and 2) One of my funnier fics. Normally, I stink at doing funny. I might stink at funny now. Usually I'll write a serious fic, with moments of comedy mixed in.

Let's see, what else do I say here? Maybe I should seriously consider going with a different form of Author's Notes. This is only good if you always have stuff to say. I'm going to shut up now.

Question for DM -- In the big bad battle with Drake in the end, that you know is going to end up happening, is it alright if I make a custom digivolution? Just for this fic?


	3. In a Village and a Duchy

_Disclaimer: All self-inserts belong to their respective owners. I don't own Luffy, or Anti-Airnaruto, or Tobi. I do not own the Cornholio bit._

"Wind Style: Air Bullet Jutsu!" DM jumped out of the way of the blasts of air.

"Dark Magic Attack!" A blast of dark magic shot from his staff, and hit Airnaruto in the chest. "What do you want?"

"Like you don't know!" Airnaruto said sharply. "You're a representative of the king, coming here in yet another attempt to recruit some of our young men for his soldiers. And once again, the answer is no!" He kicked out, and a blast of air nearly blew DM off his feet.

"But I'm not! We're just passing through!" DM deflected a blast of water with a quick spell. "He's guiding me through the forest so I can try to rescue Princess Hikari Ino!"

The ninja stopped halfway into taking a kunai from his holster. "You aren't like any sort of knight I have ever seen."

"I'm not a knight," DM said, "but I did take up the quest anyways."

Airnaruto looked off to the side, where Nukid had fallen asleep leaning against a tree. "Does he do that often?"

"He has narcolepsy," DM explained. He glanced over at Nukid, who let out a snore. "Is there an inn in that town of yours?"

Airnaruto sighed. "Pick him up, and follow me."

---

The small village of Soresu was busy as heck. As Airnaruto walked by, people bowed to him, and continued in their errands. "The inn is run by two men who came to this village quite recently, but have shown that they can run it well. At least, most of the time."

He opened the door for DM and Nukid, who had since woken up. At the front desk was Wildrook and Blood Lord Dark Kiva.

Nukid searched through his pocket. "How much for a room for a night?" DM elbowed him in the ribs. "Make that two rooms."

Wildrook jabbered something incoherent out of nowhere. Something about "Lake Titicaca."

Kiva slapped his forehead. "Shut up, bunghole!" He looked at DM. "Give me TP for my bunghole!"

Airnaruto pushed DM and Nukid aside. "What are you two doing?"

"Are you threatening me!" Kiva and Rook said in unison.

"I am the great Cornholio!" Rook shouted.

"Where I come from, we have no bungholes," Kiva said, grinning crazily.

Both of them jabbered something random before running out from behind the desk, and out the door. Airnaruto looked at the ceiling. "Great. Luffy fell asleep on sugar duty again! Just grab two of the keys from the wall, and leave five hundred gil on the counter." He stormed out, to get Kiva and Rook out of their sugar-induced frenzies, as well as punish Luffy for falling asleep, most likely in a manner that involved the Water Dragon Missile Jutsu.

"That was strange," Nukid said.

"Believe me," DM said. "I've seen stranger."

---

The next day, DM and Nukid were leaving the town. "I'm glad to be leaving this place," Nukid said. "We'll need to speed it up if we're going to make it out of the forest before nightfall. Duke Jose's land is just beyond the woods."

From down the road, a shriek rang out. DM instantly ran in the direction of the shriek, leaving Nukid annoyed.

In the square stood a man in black ninja clothes. He held a knife to the neck of a woman. "Megan," DM breathed. So she was here too. And if he was right, the ninja was none other than Anti-Airnaruto.

Airnaruto pushed his way through the crowd. He looked ready to kill this man for daring to lay a finger on his girlfriend. "Let. Her. Go."

"Don't worry, I won't harm her," the ninja said. "As long as you comply with what I wish." He looked out over the crowd. "I know for a fact that one 'DarkMagicianmon' is in this town. Come forth, so I may deliver a message."

DM walked through the crowd. He looked at Anti-Airnaruto. "Let me guess. It's from Drake Ebon Darkstar. Your master."

The anti-author couldn't hide his surprise. He quickly regained his composure. "Yes. The message is 'Just try to come save the princess, Halfa." Anti-Airnaruto released Megan, and made a hand seal. In a puff of smoke, he vanished.

_So he knows I'm coming_, DM thought. Something about the message suddenly stood out in his mind. _Wait, me and Drake haven't ever met in this world! How does he know that I'm a Halfa? There's something fishy going on around here . . ._

---

An hour before sunset--thanks to Nukid's use of Soru, and DM's flight--they arrived at the manor of Duke Jose and Duchess Shelby.

"Well, here we are!" Nukid said. He stepped up to the rope connected to the bell. He pulled twice, then backed up. Half a minute later, the door opened, and Agent Liberi appeared in the doorway.

So he's the butler? Didn't see that coming. "I'm DarkMagicianmon."

Liberi nodded. "Right, the man sent to rescue Princess Hikari. If you'll follow me." To Nukid he said "A room has been prepared for you. You may stay here for the night, then return tomorrow."

DM followed Liberi to the main hall. It wasn't quite as grand as the King's throne room, but there were still two thrones at the end of it.

Jose looked . . . rather bored. "I hate coming to the main hall."

"We'll take care of it in a few minutes, then we can leave," Shelby said comfortingly.

DM bowed slightly to each of them, mostly because X Prodigy and Tobi were the guards on either side of the thrones, and acted slightly more serious than the duke and duchess they were guarding. "I am DarkMagicianmon . . ." _Damn it, what do you call a duke? Not your majesty, that's the king. Better go with the general term_. " . . . sir."

"At ease," Jose said. "To all of you." X and Tobi immediately relaxed. DM sighed in relief. "Now then. You can stay here for the night, and in the morning I will send you with guards who will go as far as the Black Mountains. Beyond that, you're going to be following a map." He clapped his hands together. "Now that that's done with, time for dinner, my love!" He took Shelby's hand, and they headed out of the hall.

"That's it?"

"That's it," X confirmed. "Duke Jose is fairly informal, compared to other people."

* * *

_Alrighty, another chapter done. This took me a while to do. And yes, I named the village after the style of lightsaber combat. I was searching for something to call it, and it came to mind. Hope I got you guys right that appeared in this. Remember, reviews are appreciated!_

_And to Wildrook and Kiva -- for Rook, I don't have to explain why I did the Cornholio bit with you. But Kiva, I got the idea to do it after you and I started having a conversation wherein we quoted Cornholio. Hope you don't mind._


	4. To the Black Mountains

_Disclaimer: All self-inserts belong to their respective owners. Drake, Johan, and Omaddon belong to DM. Ridley belongs to the guys who make Metroid._

At about 9:00 that morning, DM was on the road again with two guides, who took the forms of Snake Screamer and The Shadow Syndicate.

"So what can you tell me about what I'm going to be facing?" DM asked.

"Evil minions," TSS said.

"Perilous mountain path," Snake said.

"There's rumors of a malevolent dragon around here," TSS added.

"And if you have really bad luck, you could run into Darkstar himself," Snake said. "And there are also some rumors about ghosts of dead knights haunting the place."

"Don't tell me you believe that," TSS said.

"Hey, it's possible!"

"Yeah, when pigs fly."

DM shook his head. He walked ahead on the path, just a little bit. But while he sped up, Snake and TSS slowed down. Their talking got further away, until DM couldn't hear them at all. He pulled the map he had been given from his pocket, and checked it. The mountains were less than an hour from where he was, and Drake's headquarters was right on the edge.

"Where might you be going?"

DM looked around for the source of the voice.

"Over here." Hanging upside down from a tree branch, was Phoenix. "Right, of course, you're going to save Hikari."

"Yeah, what are you doing?"

"Waiting for you, duh!" Phoenix said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Seriously, DM, did you lose a few brain cells from this place? Then again, I think my insanity level has gone up to something like a twelve, when I'm normally only an eight."

"Wait a second," DM said. "You're the real Phoenix?"

"Sort of. I'm the narrator, you see?" Phoenix said. She jumped down from the tree branch. "I know where this story is going, so I'm here to send you the right way, DM."

"Can you tell me what's going to happen? Since you know how it ends?" DM asked.

"Well, I guess so," she said. She stood on her tiptoes, and whispered in his ear.

"You've got to be kidding me," DM said when she was done. She shook her head.

"And a dragon will be showing up in three seconds!" she said, starting to count down on her fingers.

A jolt went through the ground. "Make that one and a half," she said. A gigantic purple dragon of sorts, known to some as Ridley, was going through the forest. Phoenix was standing absolutely still as Ridley came closer. "Whatever you do, don't move. They can't see you if you don't move."

"One, that's dinosaurs," DM said. "And two, I thought that theory was disproved."

Phoenix's eyes widened. "Oh crap. Run!" Ridley chased them across the countryside, until Phoenix got stuck in a bush. "Keep on going! You're the hero! I'm just a lovable temporary sidekick!"

DM jumped off the ground, and flew between trees, avoiding Ridley. "This isn't what I had in mind when I said I'd save the princess!!!"

"Twilight Arrow!" An arrow of twilight energy flew past DM, and hit Ridley in the face. Ranger burst from the foliage, whipped out his sword, jumped into the air, and stabbed Ridley's wing. The beast screamed in pain, and stopped in mid-flight to hover by Ranger. Ridley dove at Ranger, but was disappointed when Ranger jumped over the attack, and landed on Ridley. Ranger shouted "Twilight Slash!" and swung his sword, right into Ridley's spine.

Ridley fell to the ground, limp. Ranger walked around to the front of the beast, and stabbed his sword into its skull. Ridley gave one last shudder, and moved no more. "At long last, it is dead," Ranger said, giving a sigh of relief. He turned to DM. "I have been here for two years, to attempt to slay this beast. You have made it possible for me to do so. Thank you. And now, I may move on, at last."

"Move on? You don't mean--"

Ranger started to glow with an unearthly light, and he vanished.

"Ranger's dead?" DM asked nobody in particular. "Definitely one of the biggest changes in this world."

---

Drake's castle was dark and foreboding. Huge walls surrounded it. A moat of black water went in a loop around the walls, probably filled with all sorts of nasty creatures. And yet, there was absolutely no guards whatsoever. DM flew over the wall, and hid in the shadows.

_Can't see anybody, but can't hurt to be careful_, he thought. He said a spell, and he turned invisible. He slipped out from his hiding spot and ran across the grounds, looking at the rather unnecessary buildings. _Where would she be?_

As soon as he thought that, the voice of Mike Meyers entered his mind. _We're looking for the highest room, of the tallest tower._ DM grinned. _Thank you, Shrek._

He looked up, and saw what was easily the tallest tower there. He managed to get to the tower without any troubles, but came across an obstacle at the entrance. The Chaos Duo, Johan and Omaddon.

"Can't we take a break?" Omaddon asked. "There's nobody who could get in here, who would want to try and save this chick."

"Oh, shut up!" Johan said. "Just do your job. Use that Dark Byakugan of yours and check things out."

Omaddon stuck his tongue out at his partner. "Byakugan!" The veins around his eyes stood out, and he looked around. His eyes landed on DM. "Hey! There's somebody right there!"

_Shit!_ DM cast two quick spells, knocking them out before they could raise the alarm. Now all he had to hope for was that there weren't going to be relieved soon. "Now to find Hime-chan."

He ran up the steps of the tower, and reached a door at a dead end. "Hello? Him--I mean, Princess Hikari? Are you there?"

From within the room, Hikari's voice came out slightly muffled by the door. "Yes, who is it?"

"I'm here to save you. Get away from the door, this could get a little messy," DM said. He said a spell, and pointed his staff at the door. A blast of magic sent the door out of its frame completely. DM stepped into the room, and there was Hikari, sitting on the edge of her bed.

She looked at DM curiously. "Have we met before? You seem so familiar."

"I get that a lot," DM said. "We need to go. I knocked out the guards at the bottom of the stairs, and somebody could find them at any minute." He held out his hand. Hikari took it carefully, and both of them headed out the door and ran down the steps as fast as humanly, digimonley, and Balancely possible.

---

In the shadow of a building, they stopped to catch their breath. Hikari smiled. "This isn't exactly how they depict the hero saving the princess."

"Sorry I don't have a horse," DM said. "Not that I'd know how to ride it." He looked around, to make sure that there wasn't anybody coming for them.

"Sempai," Hikari said. "We should get going. Even though the dragon has been destroyed, Drake is still not going to let us go so easily."

"Yeah, you're right," DM said. It hit him like a bucket of bricks. "You called me sempai."

Hikari's eyes fell to the ground. "It feels right. I don't know how, but it feels right to call you that, Sempai-kun. I don't have to, if you don't want me to."

"No! It's alright," DM said, hiding his smile. "It's perfectly alright, Hime."

"Oh, isn't this sweet." Drake stepped from the alleyway. "Two lovers united at last. The villain dies, and they all live happily ever after." He smirked. "Aren't I right, DM?"

There's no way, DM thought. "Hold on, you're not, the real Drake, are you?"

"Just as surprised as you are, believe me," Drake said. "Waking up to a castle in the middle of a 12th Century Kingdom. But I suppose that it has its advantages." From the top of the building, somebody threw a sword through the air. Drake caught it. "Don't think that you're going to be escaping this time, digimon."

"Get away, let me fight him," DM whispered to Hikari.

"I'm not leaving you," Hikari said. "I'll back you up."

DM nodded. "Just be careful. I've fought him before, and I know his moves." DM's staff appeared. "Alright, Drake! Let us duel to the death!"

There was an abrupt record scratch. "You sound like a moron when you try to speak even somewhat medieval," Drake said bluntly.

"You should hear Nukid!" DM said.

"He cannot compare to his Darkside."

DM shivered. "Better go with the classic then. Let's go!"

* * *

_Man, this fic is going to be even shorter than I thought! Next chapter will be the last one, and then the credits after that. This turned out even more fast-paced than I first intended._

_So how did I do with Drake? Yes, I'm giving him a sword to fight with for his fight with DM, but the fic commanded me to do so! The will of the pen overcame the will of the author! And he'll still be using his classic abilities, don't you worry._

_For the record, how insane I am in this chapter is not how insane I normally am. I'm usually only an eight, which is the same level as the rest of you guys. Ten is a serial killer, nine is an artist, and eight is an author. Reviews are always appreciated!_


	5. DM vs Drake

DM muttered a spell, and the cut on his arm sealed up. "Who woulda thought that Drake had been so good with a sword." With his staff, he blocked a swipe.

Drake stabbed his sword into the wall, and made a series of hand seals. "Darkness Style: Super Smoke Jutsu!" He turned into a cloud of smoke, and flew into DM's face, temporarily blinding the Halfa. Drake quickly solidified, grabbed his sword, and stabbed DM's shoulder.

He let out an involuntary gasp. This is ridiculous! He knows all of my moves, I know all of his, so why can't I beat him?!

Hikari could only watch as DM got pummeled. "I have to help him, somehow." She cleared her throat, and started to sing.

**_Hikari: Storybook endings, fairy tales coming true._**

**_Deep down inside we want to believe they still do._**

**_A secret is taught, it's our favorite part of the story._**

**_Let's just admit we all want to make it to._**

**_Ever, ever, after_**

**_If we just don't get, our own way_**

**_Ever, ever, after_**

**_May only be a wish away_**

Drake laughed. "You really think that your singing could hurt me? I learned that lesson a long time ago." But Hikari kept on singing.

**_Hikari: Starting your fashion, wear your heart on your sleeve._**

**_Sometimes you reach what's real by making believe._**

**_Unafraid, unashamed_**

**_There is joy to be claimed in this world_**

**_You might end up being glad to be you_**

DM chuckled. "For some reason, I don't think she's intending to hurt you with her singing, Drake." He started to glow with a white aura.

_**Hikari: Ever, ever, after**_

_**Though the world will tell you it's not smart**_

_**Ever, ever, after**_

_**The world can be yours if you let your heart**_

_**Believe in ever after**_

He closed his eyes, as the aura grew even brighter. "DarkMagicianmon, digivolve to:"

_**Hikari: No wonder your heart feels it's flying**_

_**Your head feels it's spinning,**_

_**Each happy ending's a brand new beginning**_

_**Let yourself be enchanted, you just might break through!**_

"FantasyPrincemon!"

_**Hikari: To ever, ever, after**_

_**Forever could even start today**_

_**Ever, ever, after**_

_**Maybe it's just one wish away**_

_**Your ever, ever, after**_

_**Ever, ever, ever, after!**_

His armor turned a white so bright it would make snow look grey. His helmet morphed into a crown, the same golden color as Hikari's tiara. His staff turned into a golden-hilted sword, with a diamond set into the hilt guard.

_**Hikari: I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss**_

_**Oh for ever, ever, after.**_

DM--or rather, FM--grinned at Drake. "Let us truly duel, sword on sword." And FM didn't sound like an idiot saying it.

Drake picked up his sword, with its black hilt and blood-red ruby in the hilt. He came into a fighting position.

With a crash, the two blades came together. With new-found strength, FM pushed Drake's sword down, and made a cut in the Darkside's arm. Drake retaliated with an uppercut that made a scratch in FM's armor, and brought it back down to slice his left palm.

Drake went into a flurry of slices. FM either deflected or dodged each one. He's going into a rage. Eventually, he has to make a mistake, and create an opening. FM saw it, for less than a second. An opening right below his ribs. He thrusted upwards, and made a slice in the Darkside's stomach. It wasn't very deep, but that was the first major strike.

"You think that will stop me!" Drake snarled. "Dark Chidori Charge!" Lighting shot through his sword, making it all the more dangerous. The next time FM blocked a strike, his hair stood on end, and his hands were slightly burnt. His sword had conducted the electricity, right into him. On the plus side, that variation of the Chidori looked to be a one-shot deal.

He's got the advantage by keeping me defending. I've got to get on the offensive, he thought. FM charged at Drake, sword flying. He made strategic strikes, getting Drake to slowly get more defensive, until he every movement he made was to prevent himself from getting skewered. Now to finish him off . . . at least for now.

FM charged the energy Hikari had given him through her singing, and funneled it into his sword. With a yell, he stabbed Drake, at the same time digivolving back into DarkMagicianmon from his lack of power. His now-staff was in the right side of Drake's chest. Not the heart, but still quite a bit of damage.

Drake stumbled backwards, loosening himself from the staff at the same time. "Don't think, that this is over," he said, gasping for breath. "I, will fight once again, in the real world!" Darkness surrounded Drake, and he vanished to who-knows-where.

DM took a deep breath. "Not that I expected anything less than that." He didn't even register some of Drake's wording. He turned to Hikari. "Thank you, Hime. Without you, I would have died for sure."

Hikari stepped toward him. "You don't have to thank me, Sempai-kun." She stepped closer, and kissed him tenderly. A feeling of peace rose within DM, as he kissed her back.

_And they all lived happily--_

Hey, hold on! I'm not finished yet!

_Fine, just hurry it up._

---

DM blinked slowly, and yawned. He looked around. "Wha? Hey, I'm back!" He looked around. "What happened here?" He had been sleeping in the living room, on the couch. "Wait a second. Was it all, a dream?"

Two seconds later, Loony came running through the room at top speed, carrying something metallic. "MorningDMhaveagoodsleepIgottago!" He ran out of the room, and Phoenix came running through after him.

"Give me back my gauntlet!" she shouted. She flew out of the room after him, and two seconds later there was the familiar crash of a TV getting sent flying through the air. Loony cried out in pain.

DM shook his head. "I'd better go stop them."

Airnaruto came through then. "No worries, Chief, I got it handled." He stormed after his student and the resident keybearer.

"Good to be back," DM said, leaning back against the couch. Hikari suddenly leaned over him.

"Have a good night's sleep, sempai?" she asked.

"You bet," he said. "I had the weirdest dream, though."

"Really? What was it about?" She sat down on the end of the couch.

DM smiled. "You really want to know?"

_Now?_

Sure, go for it.

_And they all lived happily ever after . . . at least until Ross broke the satellite dish. The end._

**Credits (In Order of First Appearance)**

DarkMagicianmon: Christian Bale

Roscoso: Daniel Craig

ShadowDJ: Corbin Bleu

Jean Kazuhiza: Unknown

Kitten Hachi-chan: Kaori Nazuka

Dimensiondude: Doug Jones

TLSoulDude: Joaquin Phoenix

Lunatic121: James Arnold Taylor

Nukid: Vic Mignogna

Airnaruto: Jack Black

Wildrook: Frank Frankson

Blood Lord Dark Kiva: Unknown

Jose: Unknown

Shelby: Unknown

X Prodigy: Jason Statham

Snake Screamer: Unknown

The Shadow Syndicate: Steve Blum

Phoenix of the Darkness: Bella Hudson

Ranger: Yuri Lowenthal

Hikari Ino: Stephanie Sheh

* * *

_It is done! Yes, this fic was very short, but I had no more material or authors._

_Yes, it was all a dream on DM's part. None of it was real. At all. Nada. I'm still not sure about FantasyPrincemon. Specifically, his name. I just, I dunno. I couldn't come up with a better name for what it was._

_I stayed up until 1:00 last night finishing this, because I wanted to have it done before I went to camp. And now, I'm happy! Thank you to everybody who reviewed this, and have a good day!_


End file.
